|Brynn’s 1st Birthday Party|
The following is what I wrote this morning during my morning pages time at 750words. While I normally keep these journal entries private, I thought perhaps there are a few family members and friends who might be interested in reading my thoughts about this past year. Warning: word count is over 1,200.
One year ago today I woke up a grandmother – and spoke at the memorial service of my own mom. One year ago I had to put a smile on my face and weep tears – when I felt nothing but numb. One year ago my life changed forever – and yet it continued on as if nothing had happened. It has been a year of change – and while these external circumstances were certainly significant – I hope that the internal changes have been more so.
When I discovered I was going to be a grandmother – I knew it was something I could not stop, but I did not relish in the news. But the poem, When I Grow Old I Shall Wear Purple continued to come to mind. Many older women embrace that poem by joining a group of brash ladies sporting large bright hats that stand out in the crowd. I prefer to focus on the color purple – quietly proclaiming my new resolve to have more fun in this next half century of my life. I have since added much purple to my otherwise drab wardrobe of black, brown, and khaki. This spring I even ventured out to a few more bright bold colors such as coral and turquoise. Just yesterday I picked up my new pair of glasses that are completely different from any other pair I have worn – and I selected for the sole reason that the customer service rep said they looked “fun” I accidentally posted a picture of myself to Facebook (meant to send it just to Flickr) and have received more likes and comments on that single post than any other status update. What began as a silly act of rebellion against turning old has manifested itself into a more relaxed granny who has decided that fun is not an option, it is a necessity in life.